


Open When You Love Me

by cynicalwish



Category: 13 Reasons Why (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-20
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-16 15:47:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 1,414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29578404
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cynicalwish/pseuds/cynicalwish
Summary: Zach writes a series of letters to Alex before heading to College.
Relationships: Zach Dempsey/Alex Standall
Comments: 12
Kudos: 13





	1. Open When You Get These

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Dempzee101](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Dempzee101).



Hey Standall, 

Call me cheesy or whatever but I thought I'd do something nice for you. Saw this online and figured it would be a good gift. I'd say they're pretty self explanatory, you just open them when one of the titles applies to your situation. 

Don't cheat! No opening prematurely. I made this one so you could open one guilt free. I know what you're like. You're as curious as you are fiesty. I hope they'll cheer you up when you need it and make you smile wider when you're doing well. 

So congrats, you opened your first one. The shortest, for obvious reasons. Smooth sailing from here. 

Best wishes, 

Zach D.


	2. Open When You Feel Worthless

So we meet again. 

I think I owe you an apology 'Lex. I am partially to blame for you feeling the need to open this letter. I should never have pushed you away for the sake of appealing to those assholes. They're nothing like you and I'm so glad to have a friend who calls me out on my shit. I saw that I was wrong though, and boy am I glad. I don't know where I'd be without you. 

So much has happened to you. Knowing you, you're probably thinking "no shit, Sherlock." But you are so much stronger than you'll ever know. Thanks for giving me the chance to know you. You're the most honest, funny, caring person I'll ever have the honour of knowing. You put up a cold front, but really you're a softie. 

Look at yourself and remind yourself that you made it out of literal hell on earth. You can do it a dozen times over and I'm going to be there the entire time. I'm not the same spineless asshole I was, I know what matters now and it's you. 

Best wishes,

Zach D.


	3. Open When You Can't Sleep

Good to see you! 

Rough night, huh? All the memories won't leave you alone? I get it, the same happens to me sometimes but I imagine it's much harder for you. The shit that's happened to us should never happen to anyone, let alone kids. We were just kids. 

You have grown so much. I admire the fact that you own up to your mistakes. You have guts! I wish more people were like you. You always call it like it is. You're authentic and I hope you never lose that for anything. 

I know it feels like you could have done more sometimes, but you're only a person. You couldn't possibly know what would happen. You are good enough how you are. The way you treat people, even when they wrong you, is a testament to the person you are.

You were always enough. Believe me. 

Best wishes, 

Zach D.


	4. Open When You Miss Me

Hey Alex!

Trust me, it's mutual. Who else would force me to watch horror movies and try weird coffee? And bitch about being anti people, while flexing his jazz skills? I wonder if you'll ever play again. I miss hearing your solos. (May have overheard you practicing a few times...oops.) 

Every moment brought us here and that's so weird, right? Like what if we made different decisions? I like to think we'd find our way back to each other somehow. What do you think?

I can always be me around you. At least you outwardly judge me, instead of hiding it. I'm kidding, you know me better than anyone. Even my family at this point. I'm honoured to call you my friend, and just because we're separated by college doesn't mean I don't appreciate you just like I did when we first became friends. 

Best wishes, 

Zach D.


	5. Open When You're Unmotivated

Alex. 

Old buddy, old pal. Don't be a lazy shit. You are smart as hell, I mean you made it this far even after everything holding you back. Clearly something's going on in that pretty little head. (Guess all that dye and bleach in first year didn't seep into your brain after all.) 

But if you need a break, you better take it. Don't overwork yourself. Burnt out Alex is the worst type of Alex. It's painful seeing you look so dead-eyed and worn. If it's not working for you, distance yourself for a bit okay? 

I do worry sometimes. If we don't go to the same college, I want you to take care of yourself like I would if I was there. Plus, you better not replace me! I am number one and that's not up for debate.

Best wishes, 

Zach D.


	6. Open When You Feel Insecure

This is gonna be a little different. Here's a list of things I love about you. 

1) Your hair. What do you use? I've been asking for ages.

2) Your smile, because I don't see it a lot. 

3) Your eyes. They're very expressive. Helps to figure out when you are hiding that you're hurt. 

4) Your honesty. You're blunt, but I love that. 

5) Your empathy. You are still friends with Jess even after what she did and you are so supportive of her. Plus, you literally saved Justin's life. 

6) Your sense of humour. It's superior. If your surname wasn't Standall, it would be Sarcasm. 

7) How the fuck do you pull of a septum? 

8) Your adventurous spirit.

You're amazing just how you are, don't let other people's inability to give you what you deserve get you down. 

Best wishes, 

Zach D.


	7. Open When You're Happy

Here's my favourite memories of you:

When we went ice skating. You're as graceful as I thought. (Interpret that how you will.) 

When you hit Monty with that cane. That's the fighter I know and love. Plus, he deserved it. 

When we fell asleep on the sofa at your house after kicking Peter's ass at every game he had. 

When you opened your eyes at the hospital after you know...

When you called my name. And of course, I was right there. I always will be. 

Every. Single. Beach. Trip. Something about the sun and sea brings out the best in you. 

Here's to more moments like that...

Best Wishes, 

Zach D.


	8. Open When You're Heartbroken

Dear Alex, 

Not to be dramatic, but sometimes it's as though our lives are the definition of heartbreak. We never catch a moment to breathe. 

You've been through enough heartbreak. Hannah, Jessica, your own personal stuff and Justin too. I know you didn't like him, but that doesn't mean it didn't affect you a bunch. 

You are humble enough to put differences aside and to see humanity in even the worst people. This shit happens and it hurts, but it will pass just like everything else has.

Think of all the times you thought you wouldn't make it, but you did. And I'm proud of you. Hope that you hear it more. 

You deserve everything. 

Best wishes, 

Zach D.


	9. Open When You Graduate

Alex,

You did it! All the all nighters, caffeine and lessons you almost skipped but didn't have paid off. 

The cap and gown brought out your eyes. I've never seen you look happier. Proud Zach moment? I think so.

No one works harder than you. You have no idea how wide my smile is right now, thinking of all the shit you're gonna do with your life.

I'm not telling my mum I'm off to study music, you know what she's like. You're gonna kill it though. Literature, right? You are good with words.

I hope you find the peace Liberty Hell couldn't provide. That's the least you deserve. 

Best wishes, 

Zach D.


	10. Open When You Want to Hear a Secret

Dear Alex, 

So we're at the last letter....and I think I've said what I wanna say. But there's something I didn't tell you. I've been avoiding it and trying to push it aside. Maybe I shouldn't say it, because you're happy and I'm an asshole to do anything that might come between that, especially when I had a damn chance but I really like you Alex.

I was in denial and I pushed you away after the kiss, but I was confused. I didn't expect to like it as much as I did. And once again, I freaked out. And I try to block it out, but it sucks seeing you with Charlie knowing it could have been me. I think I'll always wonder what would have happened if I wasn't scared.

I don't really have a right to be jealous, I know that. It's not your fault, but I thought you should know. Might be the only secret you didn't know about me. Until now. 

Stay in touch. I miss you already. 

With love, 

Zach Dempsey.


End file.
